Steven and I tried for a year to have a baby. I know that's not a long time but it was long enough for me! I wanted a baby so badly. If it would have been up to me, we would have had a baby 9 months after we got married! But I am so very glad it worked out the way it did. I love the time that Steven and I were able to spend together before we had a family. God's timing is always perfect. I have no doubt about that!
I guess in my mind, I thought that we would get pregnant soon. That was not the case.
I am a firm believer that God speaks to His people through other people. So, every time I heard someone preach about hanging on because your blessing is coming and things of that sort, I just knew it was for me and that I would find out that I am expecting like a week later.
I know that that is really silly. But it was how I felt.
Then one night in December 2008, I remember it like it was yesterday, our church had a revival. On the last night, Bro. Bennie Sutherland was supposed to be preaching. He is a great preacher and we were looking forward it hearing him. Something came up at the last minute and he couldn't make it. Our pastor got another preacher to preach. That night, Bro. Jimmy Deckard preached right to me. This time it was different, I knew this preaching was for me. The title of his message was, "Joy is coming in the morning."
I remember that at the alter call, I was able to have a great time of prayer with the Lord. It was joy unspeakable!
The rest of the whole month, the devil fought me like I had never been fought before. I felt such a depression in my life. I was scared and could not shake it. It was the most awful feeling I had ever had in my life.
The devil hates it when he knows that God is up to something good!
I got victory over that feeling about a week before Christmas. Praise Jesus!
Then......On January 26, 2009 we found out we were expecting our first baby! How exciting. I could not get away from that message. JOY IS COMING IN THE MORNING!
I had a wonderful, healthy pregnancy, which I am so grateful for. Steven prayed for me and the baby every single night throughout my pregnancy which I really feel like helped out a lot.
Whew! I don't know where all that came from! I am just so overwhelmingly thankful for Trinity. She is my little silly baby girl! She is so full of life and I love every moment I spend with her. There are times when I just want to shut her up in her room and go hide in a corner and just cry because it seems like I cannot be a good mother and it is just impossible. But... there are those times, which I absolutely love so much, where everything just falls into place and I feel like the greatest mother on earth!
There are times when it is so hard to be a mommy and know what to do. It is overwhelming. But I can do this. This is what God designed me to be and I know He has given me the strength to do it.
Trinity is at an age right now where she is into everything! But she is also learning how to love. She will look at me and make a clicking noise with her mouth and then give me the biggest, sweetest kiss on the nose! And then it is always followed by a big hug around my neck. It makes my heart melt!
I just wanted to share this with you along with a bunch of pictures of my baby girl.